Method of Mancy

As I drive down the hill, my attention is drawn to the horizon. Behind and above the range of mountains dominating the skyline is an enormous shelf of clouds, looming as tall as the mountains it overshadows, doubling their visual weight. And just above the very top of those clouds is the sun, blasting sharp rays of light directly into my eyeballs and through to my brain.

A Pixies song plays softly on the radio as I struggle to make out the landscape through the blinding light. I’m running late, but the sun is still so high in the sky that it’s hard to believe what time it actually is. The spring air brushes across my shoulders and through my hair and I sigh in relief as I get to the bottom of the hill and the sun finally disappears behind the clouds.

–

When I get to his place, he runs out of the house to greet me and does a silly dance in front of my car to make me laugh. He grabs all the bags and doesn’t let me carry anything and still keeps a hand free so he can hold mine.

Up in his room, we sprawl out on the bed, hunching over our laptops to work. I try to lie on my stomach but give up quickly after a headache manifests. Instead, I turn over and prop myself up to listen to him practice his presentation. Watching him speak, I forget my role as the audience, captivated by his beauty. I take in the hair that curls down over his forehead, the way he gestures toward the screen to emphasize his points. Every movement he makes, every shift of his face, and every word are all just so him and I begin to melt away.

It keeps us up past midnight, but we both manage to finish our work in time for the next day. He snaps his computer shut and I drag the sitting pillow he bought for me off the bed and back into the closet. Then flossing and brushing side by side. Finally, we slip into bed and immediately wrap around each other.

In his arms, I start to drift off, exhausted. The entire night was spent in deep focus, hardly spending any actual time with each other, but ending the night sleeping skin to skin makes it all feel worth it. Not for the first or last time, as I feel him breathing behind me, I think to myself, God, this is the best feeling in the world.